Who is the Self that thou woulds't know -
and who is the Knower of this self
The Stormy Search for Self
To find my Self, I had to figure out there was a difference between who I might really be .. and who my parents, the education system, my friends, my employers and even my spiritual teachers had tried to tell me I was.
This site is both the result .. and the journal of my own Stormy Search for the Self. In order to understand the words I wrote, it may be of benefit to understand some of my life experience .. as these may give the reader an insight into how and why I write as I do..
From somewhere in the deep unconscious remembering of my innocence, I knew there was a purpose to my life - how and why my experiences manifested in the way they did. I knew there were reasons why people behaved as they did towards me. I knew there was a reason I reacted the way I did in everyday situations. I knew there had to be a better way.
I started to look for answers – I followed the pathways most seekers do, with many of the same results.
The only answers came when I stopped allowing myself to be taught and realized that all a teacher could do for me was to remind me of what, on some level, I already knew.
The Stormy Search for Self became a journey of remembering – of finding the fragments (or members) and putting them back together; of re-minding myself of the illusion that all my life was not limited by what I could see; of hearing the sounds within the silence; of awakening before my deathbed.
To do this, I had to figure out there was a difference between who I was and who my parents, the education system, my friends, my employers and even my spiritual teachers had tried to tell me I was. The medical profession also had its go - they wanted me dead, or at the very least, in a wheel chair.
One of my teachers once said to me ..
"I want to hear what Christopher Wynter says .. not what someone has told him to believe .. or what he has read in books ... anyone can be a well read parrot".
So, in this website, I am setting into written words some of the Transpersonal experiences of my own Stormy search for Self from the book of my own body .. translated into my learned English from what I interpreted as recorded in the cells.
English is not my genetic language .. nor was it the language of my mother in utero .. therefore I have no genetic preconception of the meanings of English words .. or their resonance in my body. My blood contains Polish, Jew, Catholic, and Romany (amongst a few others).
I was adopted. I do not physically know my genetic family in person and both my adoptive parents are both dead.
I have been declared clinically dead on several occasions .. the last in 1986. I have full conscious remembering of everything that happened during the period that the body was "dead".
I studied comparative religions and spiritual myth and mysticism as part my studies in Transpersonal Psychology .. I have sufficient linguistic skills to refer to other languages with ease.
As a consequence of my training and my experiences, I have been carrying out privately funded research into the nature of memory and emotions with groups of people for the last 10 years. In that time, I have been fortunate on numerous occasions to have several generations of the one family group with which to work.
I learned there is more wisdom in a tree before it is cut down,
pulverized, processed into paper and filled with the written word.
Again, in using the words of that same teacher ...
"I can teach you everything I know. I can give you a list of authors to read. You can learn all of the theory .. and all of the tools. But, unless all of this is applied, firstly to your self, you will never become a therapist. All you will be is a well versed parrot"
"The Stormy Search for Self. Some Transpersonal Reflections of Christopher Wynter" was written, published and © by Transpersonal LifeStreams®, Tasmania, Australia. The URL's of this page are https://anunda.com/self.htm and http://www.lifestreams.com.au/self.htm.
• My search for the "Meaning of Life"
My Stormy Search for Self has been one of bringing together, the fragments of a shattered mind - to allow them to consciously share within this physical body in the Dance of Consciousness
• Triantiwontigongolopes and other Bruisers
A Meditation on several glasses of Home Brew
• A Traveler through Life
A Transpersonal Metaphor for the Spiritual Journey based on Christopher's personal experiences
• Compassion & Experience
Have you ever faced a situation where the whole of your life has collapsed around you. You have no one you can relate to, no roots, no parents - no identity and nothing has meaning.
• My Search for the Beloved
Love and Intimacy are ultimately based on understanding - the desire to understand, the need and the willingness to be understood. Vulnerability and trust are integral.
• The Master and the Disciple
When I first set out on my Spiritual Quest, I searched for a teacher, I searched for a master who would teach me to become Spiritual. I sought to become a disciple. I needed to be saved. In retrospect, I know that now.
• Life, Love and Learning
Once I gave up the quest for knowledge - to learn from teachers and the books, once I stopped seeking words as a panacea for my inner dis-ease and turned my focus to developing an understanding of myself, the circumstances of my life completely changed.
• These Things I have Learned